(This post originally appeared in my old blog about singing and choir. Enjoy!)
Have you ever tried something new, only to realize you’re terrible at it? Great!
When people ask me the typical Monday morning questions of “How was your weekend?” and “What did you do?” usually I tell them about a rehearsal or a concert I went to. This weekend I did both: had a rehearsal for a musical I’m in and went to see a live show on Saturday night. They usually follow up with questions about how long I’ve been singing and how long I’ve done theatre. Most of the time, the person will end up confiding in me that they absolutely “cannot” sing. In fact, they believe their singing voice is so bad that they would hurt themselves or others to even try!
I always find it funny and try to reassure them that they definitely can sing and sometimes I’ll even tell them that if they can talk, they can sing. This confuses most people because there is a disconnect between singing and talking – while it seems obvious it is worth stating: singing and talking come from the same mechanism – the vocal folds (called vocal chords by most people). So unless you have a vocal pathology that interferes in your ability to phonate (to make sounds with your vocal folds), if you can talk that means you can also sing. Learning how to make pleasing sounds with your vocal folds is one of the reasons to take singing lessons with a professional.
Back to my Monday morning conversations with co-workers – some will still emphatically state that they cannot sing but have always wanted to or always admired people who do. Because I have been studying music and sung in choirs my whole life it’s second nature to sing, every insecurity about not being able to sing have come and gone long ago.
Which brings me to the subject of my post – why is being “bad” at something a deterrent to trying?
Sometimes people will say “Oh I’m so bad at ____ I’m never doing it again.” I used to say that about dancing. I took my first dance class a few years ago called introductory contemporary dance. (Ok I took a year of ballet when I was 5 but I don’t think that counts). I signed up for the class because I wanted to be more comfortable moving on stage and have more confidence when I audition for musicals.
I signed up for the dance class and was absolutely awful at it. I lack natural grace, ability, flexibility, athleticism, and strength. The teacher was supportive and encouraging and I loved it. I was terrible at it and I loved it.
When that class ended I signed up for beginner jazz. Again, I was awful at it. After that I did beginner salsa, hip hop and swing. The steps were confusing and never came naturally to me. I started taking Zumba classes at the gym. I was so uncoordinated I thought I’d never get better at it.
All of these dance styles were a challenge. Slowly but surely, I was able to pick up dance steps a little more easily. I wasn’t totally baffled by a simple box step. My feet started moving at the right time and going to the right places. Do I still lack grace and beauty in my movements? Absolutely. But I keep going back and trying.
When I first joined a gym 6 years ago I was incredibly intimidated by the athletic and well-dressed people. I wore baggy clothes, stood at the back of the class and just tried to follow along as best as I could. I thought everyone was looking at me. All the moves were difficult and foreign and I never knew if I was doing anything right. Years later I’m so much more comfortable at the gym and even though I was never born a natural athlete, I still benefit from going to the gym and taking part in classes. I really enjoy the classes I go to now and rarely feel intimidated or self-conscious.
My advice for anyone who has always wanted to sing but is worried about being “bad” at it is to just try.
Go be bad at it! In fact, be terrible at it. Make a sound so ugly and awful that everyone looks at you (this won’t actually happen – but this is what most people are afraid of). In my dance or exercise classes I’ve never done anything so weird or bad that there was a comical record-scratch sound effect everyone stopped what they were doing to stare at me.
In closing, I’ll quote what was on the wall at the dance school where I took my very first dance class: “The best time to start was 20 years ago. The second best time to start is right now.”