(This post originally appeared in my old blog about singing and choir. Enjoy!)
I wish I could give you a handy listicle of ways to deal with self-consciousness when singing but I have to admit it’s something I struggle with a lot and I’m not really sure I have many ideas (that have worked for me). Sure there are the old stand-bys of “believe in yourself” and “be confident” but those haven’t helped me.
I just finished doing a show where I got to do a comedic scene: I had a few funny lines. The director pushed me out of my comfort zone (in a good way) and I think I was funny. I know I can do more. Directors and voice teachers always tell me to give them more, that I need more energy, that I’m holding back (even when I think I’m going over the top). Sometimes I take it too far and then it just seems fake. The problem I’ve always had is I’m very self conscious when I sing and the smaller the audience the worse it is!
I saw Bohemian Rhapsody last night and what it reminded me of was how free and uninhibited Freddy Mercury was when he performed. It was really inspiring and also it’s a great movie so go see it.
I’ve been offered another comedic role in a show next year (its not officially announced yet so I can’t say much about it) and I know it’s going to be a big challenge for me and will give me a great opportunity to grow as a performer.
I will definitely be working on my inhibition and self-consciousness. I really love performing even when I seem “low energy” or when I’m “holding back”. I consider myself an outgoing introvert (meaning I have all the traits of an introvert but I love to be on stage and perform for people – an ambivert). I know a lot of people would rather drop dead than perform in front of a crowd; I believe public speaking is one of the top ten fears.
As all blog posts must have a list, here are some of the reasons people are self conscious when they sing:
1) They don’t think they’re good enough.
If you really want to join a choir or singing group but are worried about not being good enough I would encourage you to go out and try anyway because people in choirs come from all levels and backgrounds. I happen to have a lot of voice training but I’ve met tons of singers with very little training who are amazing, dynamic performers who sing and perform beautifully. I’ve met singers who have sung in choirs for years and they sound and look like they’re in physical pain when they sing. That’s ok too!
Comparing yourself to others may be something you do in all areas of your life. I remember when I first joined a gym I felt very self-conscious; the more I went the more comfortable I got. Sometimes people will ask me to come with them to the work gym because they know I go and want a buddy to feel less self-conscious. Little do they know what struggles I had! I used to be so self conscious I wouldn’t wear shorts to work-out even if I was too warm in pants.
The more you do something the more you will feel comfortable. Slowly but surely.
2) They’re worried about being judged.
I totally relate to this – especially with reality television. We’ve all seen those singing shows where one of the judges says something horrible to a contestant. I think it’s awful to tell someone they “shouldn’t” sing as if they need permission from a guy on TV. Even if a person sounded like a meat grinder full of rocks I would still encourage them to keep trying (but maybe see a voice teacher so they don’t hurt themselves!)
Reality TV and social media make it easy and acceptable to make fun of people and I think that has a negative effect on people putting themselves out there in all areas of their lives (myself included).
3) It’s scary to be vulnerable.
Nothing makes me feel more vulnerable than singing, especially if it’s a small group of people or just one person. This is one reason I’ve always really struggled with auditions (I’ve gotten a lot better – blog post idea!).
I’m not really sure what the solution is to this. Some performers show their souls and connect to the audience seemingly so easily. They let people in and these are the performers people will pay hundreds or thousands of dollars to see because of that experience. They may not even be a very good singer but they’re so good at singing to every person in the room.
I think it comes down to culture and upbringing – some people reveal themselves more easily than others.
I will keep you all posted on my quest to be a more vulnerable performer. Let me know what has worked for you.